I don't know what to say. I just know I need some help. I have been cutting up myself for a while. And I can't stop. I went to the hospital a few weeks ago for one cut. It was about 5 in. long and over 3.5 in deep. The thing that scared me the most(later) was that it didn't bother me at all. Seeing all the fat and blood and 2 in wide cut in my thigh just made me giggle, and I didn't feel it at all. I wasn't in shock. And later I found out that I cut lot's of nerves and I can't feel the area now. I know I have a problem. But I keep going back and forth about the seriousness of it all. I just can't figure it all out. Please e-mail me.
i was with my x-boyfriend since we had had problems in our relationship in the past, just little annoyances, but we decided to remain friends. well, my boyfriend was gonna come over and hang with us. my boyfriend lives in a different town and doesn't know him. well my x -- we can call him damien -- he was saying all this stuff about how he wants to get with me and stuff and i was like damien, chill. i got a man now. we agreed that breaking up is the right thing to do. well, the next thing i know i'm up against the wall, i was like ow, stop damien and he was like you won't regret this and he started kissing me and feeling me up. i shoved him away and he was like bitch! and shoved me against the wall again and he put his hand under my skirt rubbing me and fingering me, and that's when i lost it and ran out of the house. when i see him in school we've ignored each other for 3 months. no one knows this.
Anonymous
i was at my best friend's house for her 11th birthday party. i was 10 at the time. it was a sleep-over, and she had two other people over as well. we stayed up real late, watching movies. i woke up with her older brother raping me. he was 16 or 18 (i can't remember which). worse than that, he got me pregnant. i almost bled to death that night. i never told my parents, they never found out. 15 weeks later, i miscarried. i almost bled to death then, too. the first person i ever told was my current boyfriend. that was a little over a year ago. we've been together for almost five years now, and we are planning on getting married, so i figured that he deserved to know. now most of my friends know, and are trying to help me. i still get flashbacks when my boyfriend and i are intimate. we haven't had sex yet because i am very scared, and we are waiting until we get married. the flashbacks are bad, and sometimes i just have to leave, and other times he just ends up holding me while i cry. even now, 8 and 1/2 years later, i still have pain sometimes. it seems to happen alot right now, because i am under alot of stress, just entering college and all. my new friends worry about me because i always seem to be in pain. even as i write this, i am hurting physically quite bad. the emotional stress this puts on me is bad.
yesterday was all saint's day, a day to remember the loved ones that you have lost, and the person that was on my mind the most was my baby that was conceived because i was raped. even though i never got to know this child, i still miss her (i'm not sure if it was a girl, but for some reason i feel as if it was). i regret that she never had a chance to see just how beautiful this world can be, but i am thankful that she will never have to see just how evil and ugly this world can be. i regret that she died because of me, because she could have been someone great. she could have discovered something important, she could have been the answer to so many questions. but she never had a chance. i call her 'angel.'
Emporess Zia
